u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Farmville is her only friend.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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