just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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