We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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