Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
