She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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