Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
