I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
how does that bad decision feel?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
