Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
