I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
