i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
