Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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