so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
