yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
