i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
