We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
