I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize