FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
