Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
