I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
