we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
