real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i think my cat just said my name.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
