I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
