Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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