fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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