Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
