Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Come share oat with me in your robe
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
