new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
