imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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