You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
