She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
