I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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