I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
