the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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