real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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