I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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