She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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