well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
