WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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