new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
