The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
