just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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