i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
