Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
