So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
