She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
