you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
