worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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