Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
