I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
