I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
