I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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