ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Randomize
