I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
