i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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