i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
