My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
