Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
