It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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