I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
