Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish you could order shots online.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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