He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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