I bet he comes in French.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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