That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
